"What's love got to do
. . . got to do with it?
What's love, but a second hand
emotion?
"What's love got to do
. . . got to do with it?
Who needs a heart, when a heart
can be broken?"
(Tina Turner)
Love's got everything to do with it!
As African people move into the new millennium, a quick survey
of our people shows that most of us suffer from the effects of
living in a loveless society. After surviving for hundreds of
years in a society that clearly doesn't love us, we have adopted
the same attitude. We don't love ourselves, we don't love our
communities, we don't love our families, we don't love our women,
we don't love our children and we don't love our men.
I can hear your reaction: "What do you mean? I love my
babies to death!" . . . "I love my baby"s mother!"
. . . "I love my Boo!"
Do you love your babies enough to raise them in an atmosphere
where drugs and killing are not part of daily life? Do you love
your children enough to let them see two loving parents working
hard to support them legally? Do you encourage them to do well
in school, or tell them how stupid they are? Do you live in the
same house with your "baby's mother", helping your Boo
to raise your children? Did you create these babies you love so
much without forming a loving relationship with your partner?
Did you have two dozen sexual partners and zero loving relationships?
If you listen to rap and hip hop, all you hear are young black
men bragging about being "Dogs", bragging about killing
other black people during drug deals, and bragging or complaining
about "Ho's".
Why black men would brag about acting like dogs is beyond
my understanding, which makes it difficult for me to comment on.
African boys need strong, positive role models, or they will grow
into the warped "dogs" they see around them. If your
father hates himself so much that he is so busy collecting female
trophies instead of providing a loving home for you, that lovelessness
will resonate through generations of black men. And if your father's
response to America's forty year campaign to drug up the black
community is to deal drugs and death to his own people, self-hatred
is reaching an all-time high.
I once heard a theory that rapists were following a biological
imperative; a basic urge all animals have to insure that their
genes are passed along by "stealing the eggs" of unwilling
women. "Dogs" are not far removed from rapists, and
only slightly more polite. "Dogs" collect as many eggs
as they can without forming a loving relationship; in effect tricking
women out of eggs instead of taking them by force. The problem
with black men celebrating canine behavior in our community is
the millions of litters of unloved "puppies" that are
the result.
Most women bristle at being called "Ho's", but too
many of them jump into the first BMW they see with the first trifling
man they see. Money is vital in this society, but if money is
the only criteria you use to judge a man, you'll all end up chasing
the same brainless dogs who'll do anything to get money. Too many
women have sexual relationships with men they care nothing about
because those men provide material comforts. If a woman doesn't
love herself, she certainly won't love her children enough to
chose a man who is positive, caring and hard working instead of
some asshole with an expensive car.
Women could change the black community tomorrow! If every
black woman refused to have sex with any drug dealer, I'll bet
the black community would be drug free in a year! If women chose
only positive, hard working brothers for sexual relationships,
there suddenly would be a lot more positive, hard working brothers
around.
If men stopped looking to put notches on their belts and instead
formed loving relationships with positive, caring and hard working
sisters, our communities could grow and prosper.
Marriage, which should be a positive institution in our community,
has been deformed into legalized prostitution. Sex is used to
lure a man into a legal contract to support a woman and their
children. What's love got to do with it? Nothing. She loves his
BMW and he loves her mammaries. So the caring and often the sex
stop just minutes into the marriage, and the husband now moves
off to become a married dog instead of a single one, if he stays
in the relationship at all.
Black people have to learn to love themselves, love their
partners, their children and their community. We must form relationships
based on love, not greed, sex, self-hatred or insecurity. I won't
go so far as the theme song from Muhammed Ali's film biography
and say that loving yourself is "The Greatest Love of All",
but loving yourself certainly forms the base from which everything
positive grows.
Love yourself!
Love us!
And then everything will be all right!
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